I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
