considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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