my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
