We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
