3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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