You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
being pregnant is like rehab
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize