I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
