Pappa wants mamma naked
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
