I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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