2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is classic penis vs brain.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
