just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize