there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
