things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Your dad touched me again.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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