Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
