dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
