so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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