Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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