So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
FUCK WHALES
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
