why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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