I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
