I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
