There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
