you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize