Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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