So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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