I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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