we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize