she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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