Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
