sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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