the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
