clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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