i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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