it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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