You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
