I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
