GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
