how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you win again, gameday.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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