just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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