the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
