Non-Jews are for practice
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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