Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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