Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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