Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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