i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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