i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Girls should come with a carfax report
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
