I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize