dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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