that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
