next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize