I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
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I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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