see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
