tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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