I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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