Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
