Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
