I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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