I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
