Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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