This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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