we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
