yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
