yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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