i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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