Already got asked if we're dating
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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