I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
