he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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